For People Like Me

The trees, the trees, I speak for the trees. The thought barges in with a gazump, as I look back at my knees. In a red dodge pickup, with two strangers as crew,we race the trees though the woods, Nashville in our rearview. “Jimbo is my name” says the captain to me Adorned by a handlebar mustache and pot belly, with capital B. We talk small for ages, each tree another year. I don’t want to be in this red pickup, in Tennessee, this time of year, going to a place for people like me.

I’m going to a place for people like me. Jimbo is my driver, captain and safety. They’ll take my bag, and my laptop and belt. They’ll take my meds and my tweezers and scissors. They might take my shoe laces, I don’t want to give up my pencils. I started writing again, like I said I always would. I don’t know Jimbo, but he is nice. Full of southern charm and condescending smiles. I miss the airport and it’s out going flights. They're flying away from our red pickup, that's going to a place for people like me.

After Action Report

Name: Manai, Louis
Rank: Specialist, Communications Chief

Unit: C Co., 1st Batt, 75th Ranger
Date of Incident: 06/12/2018
Date of Report: 06/13/2018

Overview

In response to credible intelligence of ISIS affiliated MAMs in the region, Strike Force Camp Alpha mobilized with guidance for kill/capture of two high valued targets. Elements of !st and 2nd platoon deployed along with specialized HQ attachments (CP Black, Fires, JTAC, PJ, K-9, RISTA, FO, MI, CST). Afghani KKA would run primary with NATO JSOC advising and supporting.

Coalition force conducted a Y-infil, 500m NW of the target compound. Unit cleared through the valley in a SE direction, with overwatch established on the western ridge. Upon completion of primary objective and subsequent SSE, unit moved 200m west of the target for exfil.

I’m going to a place for people like me. Veterans, and cops, and firefighters and EMTs. It's new and nice, they said. They’ll take care of you, they said. It’s what you need they said. You’ll get your head right they said. The trees are green, hot and swaying. They reach for the truck as it passes them by. The AC blows cool, I’m still sweating. This place I’m going, is supposed to fix me. I don’t want to go, be fixed, and miss me.

They don’t tell me, the people who ‘care’. That I’ll lose everything while I am there. I’ll lose my job, the one that’s been killing me. It’s 80 hours a week, sleeping in my office. It pays okay, just requires my mind. My coworkers and bosses were there when I left. They all showered me with comfort. They don’t tell me I’ll become unemployed while I'm away. All my friends from work will disappear in an instant. Thats what happens when they send you to a place for people like me.

Report

Pre-mission was normal, like any other. 1900 ConOp, 2230 COMMEX, 2300 buses, then wheels up at balls30. The only thing that stands out from this was the SecDef decided to join the CONOP via zoom. I know he gets briefs, but it was the first time I’d seen him attend one. My COMMEX went smoothly, with only one SGT blaming me for messing up his radio that he forgot to turn on. Easily handled, although I may have went overboard with the public correction. I’m not gonna let him ding my reputation as Commo Chief, insubordination be damned.

We listened to Katy Perry on the bus to the airfield, a slight deviation from our normal pre-mission T Swift jam. All 87 pax were loaded and we where airborne by balls30 (0030). It was an 85 minute flight time, so we got an hour nap in. At -20, I got calls over SatComm of activity on target, and new intelligence of heightened IEDs in the area. At -15, our A-10s and F-22s started making gun runs to soften the LZ. -10, we get more reports of movement and kinetic activity on the ground. At -5, our Chinook 47 takes small arms fire. By now everyone in our Chalk was awake and preparing of a quick infill, cause the pilots had no intention of loitering in an active LZ, even with zero lum. At the 30 second call, we all stood up to face the ramp as it lowered. We were still a few hundred feet up. There were tracers lighting up the sky as enemy forces had already engaged a different chalk on our strikeforce. Automatic fire was coupled with mortars that rained down erratically. They couldn’t really see us but knew we were there.

The light above the ramp turned from red to green and we shot down the ramp and out of the Huey like it was the Penn Relays. Our pilots didn’t even want to touch down so we had to jump about 4 feet off the back of the bird. With NODs (Night Optical Devices) on, it was like jumping into the abyss. A few people weren’t ready, hit hard, and had to roll out of the way. Then it was a sprint across roughly 80 yards of open terrain to our first checkpoint.

They don’t tell me I’ll lose my partner. The one I already gave up on. She’ll find another, someone more fun and funnier. He’ll be strong and sane and around most of all. She’ll fall in love with another. She’ll feel guilty and want to help me still. She’ll watch my dog while I’m off to the kiln. She is the one who told me to go, in the first place. I wonder terrible things, like did she plan this all along. To send me to a place for people like me.

I don’t know that I’ll be evicted, while I am away. The landlord has decided to renovate my lair. My lease will be up once I’m done in Southwest Tennessee. I’ll soon learn I have to find a new place to be. I don’t have the money, the capital, the credit. It’s hard with a dog who’s a 100lbs bear, but mostly just teddy. We’ll be okay, but it’s a tough stretch to come, when I return from the place for people like me.

As the company’s lead RTO, I positioned myself adjacent to the CO as we established CP Black (primary command squad). We hunkered down at the treeline, and waited for the rest of 1st platoon to get into position. 2nd platoon continued to engage MAMs about 2 clicks north of us. Around 02, enemy fire had subsided. We began our decent into the village. 2 squads from 1st platoon broke off from our contingent to clear and secure the southern side of the village. The rest, including CP Black, followed the main force onto the main road.

As we approached, I received a SAT call reporting 2 heat signatures at the main bend in the road in front of us. Our point squad investigated and could not find anything noteworthy, so about half of our force passed through that space. I was the last in order and the call came again to turn left and look directly down from my position. There was a 5 foot deep canal at my feet, completely overgrown with vegetation. I shined my IR light through the brush and scanned the area, but could not see or hear any thing of note. I was about 5 feet from them.

I’m going to a place for people like me. I have MMD and ADHD and GAD and PTSD. Apparently my brain stopped working like it used to. If it ever did work right, I just don’t know. But I know I don’t like it as it is. It makes me angry and spacey, and lethargic most days. I guess they’ll try and fix it, with some new fancy ways. I don’t want to be fixed, in a place for people like me.

I wish the trees were Truffula trees. And I could speak with the man who made all the Thneeds. And spend time with the trees and the lorax and the bees. I wish I wasn’t me anymore, in this red pickup ship. With a ex-firefighter captain Jimbo and his mustached lip. I want to feel the air as a kid in the summer, and be surrounded by people who love me. I am a stranger in strange lands, going to a place for people like me.

After pushing 50 yards further from the bend, we developed a BP. I relayed again to our CO that there was reported activity in the space we had just passed. He decided to send a squirter interdiction team to investigate. 1 fire team, plus k-9 and fires support broke away from our contingent to investigate. They encircled the ditch silently.

I used to work in a place for people like me. I’ll be fired soon, I just don’t know it. I’ll be single, and evicted, and broke and lonely. I wish I didn’t need a place for people like me.

Someone yelled “Show me hands, show me hands”. There was immediate sustained gunfire into the ditch from our team. Then the dog shot forward and there was a loud pop. The dog yelped, everyone fell over like dominoes. No one got up. It all took about 15 seconds.

We all got on line. I reported troops in contact over SAT to base. Top (1st Sergeant) quickly organized a team of riflemen and medic to retrieve the interdiction team. They were groaning now, rolling around on the ground. There was no more activity from the ditch. We established a Casualty Collection Point and I radioed for medevac. Top was returning with our wounded. The dog handler had one arm around Top’s shoulders and was dragging Iris by her harness. Under night vision, I could only make out shadows dripping from her belly. Fires Support called in a danger close run to secure the area. Three 105mm shells landed while 75 yards from us. I felt my teeth rattle and bones vibrate. My ears haven’t stopped ringing.

Meanwhile, another contingent of 1st platoon engaged our primary target. Platoon Sgt Fillion put two rounds into a high valued combatant from 50 yards away. One in the chest, center mass, and one in his forehead. He was never able to detonate his S-vest. Fires called in gun runs on a treeline across town that was throwing small arms fire at us. Most kinetic activity was over in about 20 minutes. We secured 2 additional MAMs to take back to base. They were bound and blindfolded. The Afghani commandos handled them, roughly.

We transitioned into SSE (military intelligence sweep) and casualty care. In total, 5 rangers received superficial shrapnel wounds to their lower bodies. MWD Iris had sustained critical injuries to her throat an abdomen as she had lunged face first towards a frag grenade. That probably saved the lives of several rangers. Her handler later told us she probably thought it was a tennis ball. Our MI specialist took pictures of all EKIAs (enemy killed in action) to confirm our objective of kill/capture the primary. Then he showed the children his pictures. Because of the fatal wounds, he felt it was necessary to show the adolescent civilians. We could confirm his identity if his child would identified him. The kid started crying and screaming for his father. We laughed and confirmed our target. It was 0330 by now.

Our evac flew in along with the medevac, and we packaged up our wounded into the Chinooks. Someone had wrapped Iris in a thermal blanket. The flight back was easy, with no additional engagements. I compiled my data with the CO and sent a few messages back to base. Then I took another nap. Once we landed, an unmarked mini-van approached us on the tarmac. 2 plain clothes, nameless guys took our detainees in their black hoods and drove off into the darkness. We stayed on the tarmac longer than usual. Our XO wanted to take pictures because he was rotating back stateside. Then we all went to get chow. I had eggs and french toast sticks.

I feel things too much, or maybe not at all. It depends on the time, before or after my fall. It’s mostly what I remember about what they taught us in training. That you can turn it off and on and on and off. Except they didn't know about the off to on stuff. That it cant really control it turning back to on. And it sometimes burst like a damn.

The red pickup docks at a house on a hill. There is a private entrance for people at the people mill. I don’t really feel like I’m supposed to be here. This haunted hill house people mill. But still, they have me, in a place for people like me.